The Call Is Coming From Inside The Womb

An insistent knocking begins the haunting of a pediatrician’s office- until a scrappy receptionist discovers the nature of the ghostly intruders.

I am going South- this train is taking me to Newport, Kentucky- where I am hired to work as a receptionist for my American uncle. He’s a pediatrician-obstetrician, my uncle, and I am to call him Dr. Lewiston and be grateful that he’s taken a chance on me, given the hell I put my parents through at school this year. I am to make reparations over the summer.  

Dr. Lewiston has no choice but to hire me, anyway, and I have typist training. None of the girls in Newport will take the position, he confided in his brother (my father). Parents are scared. Women are miscarrying at an alarming rate, and rumours are flying. If it’s the water supply or ancient curses, I don’t know, but everyone is healthy! Then the unthinkable happens. My last receptionist miscarries in our waiting room, with zero warning, dying later of a bloodstream infection. My reputation, lives of my friends- all are under threat. I need help, Jack. 

My father, scared of raising children and desperate to impress his physician brother, turns to me with eyes chaining like slot machines and tells me to pack. He says: Any place odds are below zero on Julia having a baby, Ed, is fine by us. She’s turning her life around. I already got to keep myself from killing the boy who turned it around in the first place. Then he sings on down the road to buy my ticket.  

Newport is amazing! Alive with night creatures, entertainment, and a kind of needy neon sickness I am already in love with. When I answer the office phone for the first time, it is like a new woman speaking: Thank you for calling Ohio River Family Care Clinic, how do you do? As if I’d been saying it all my life.  

I’m good at my job. It’s simple work and I love my budding friendships with the small-town people, learning their problems and minding their children. I make friends- with Miss Tee next door and Candace, who is older than me, married and works at the grocery store. But strange things are happening. A sensation of dread hangs in the office and disappears outside. When recording intake with patients over the phone, I hear strange clicks. Dr. Lewiston assures me the telephone lines are fussy and not to worry. When I’m alone, I’m driven mad by tiny incessant knocks. At first, I thought it was someone at the door, or tapping the doorplate out back, but I never catch anyone. I start to believe I’m going crazy. And I obsess about the clinic freezer. 

Three knocks on the doorplate- then six more, at a quicker tempo. This is Wilkes, the delivery boy. He has keys to the locked freezer and I don’t. Dr. Lewiston likes the milk to stay cold, so Wilkes comes and goes as he pleases. I wonder what he does back there besides drop off milk. I can’t ever leave the waiting room unattended, so I watch the clock and sometimes he’s in for ten minutes. There’s no money around either- just insurance paperwork and patient files- but there are expensive fish in the tank.  

One day I am lying on a picnic blanket beside the Licking River, with Candace spread out next to me. We are eating peeled grapes and sunflower seeds when a dark shadow crosses the blanket. I look up and see Wilkes, his orange threat of hair shining above a freckled glare. Get lost, creep, Candace warns. After he slinks off, I tell her about the door codes and the freezer- how I think he’s more than a milk boy.  

Candace’s mood darkens, and she tells me about Dr. Lewiston on the night of her miscarriage. There was so much blood. She lost consciousness repeatedly. Once when her husband left the room, Dr. Lewiston leaned in and whispered, You’ll be okay. Your baby isn’t big enough to make the cat jealous. Not like the others– and she won’t tell me anything he did after that. But I keep thinking something dark is going wrong inside my uncle. I promise Candace I won’t say anything, but I tell Miss Tee. Child, she says, I don’t know the good doctor, but it don’t feel right that so many babies ain’t makin’ it. Ask your questions. Miss Tee’s warning circles my head, and three nights in a row, I dream of breaking my fingernails along a cliff’s ledge, above a roaring sea, with my boyfriend screaming at me from the water. 

I wait for Wednesday, when Dr. Lewiston goes out for lunch, then make my move. I use the lockpick technique my boyfriend taught me, and I’m in the freezer lickety-split. It is horrific. Rows of giant or mini white fetuses, suspended in jars of green liquid. A Jell-O Salad of newborns floating in artificial wombs, instead of the marshmallows and pineapples Miss Tee prepares for the clinic staff. Except they move. One fetus clenches and unclenches a tiny fist. Another blinks open eyes yellower than goldenrod. Effortlessly kicks out a leg. A complicated network of machinery and tubes appear to be involved in nourishing them, keeping them alive. Not just alive- 

I’m sorry, Julia. Wilkes is pointing a gun in my face. I can’t let you leave, he whines in an awful nasal voice. The milk-splattered delivery apron is gone, replaced by a black suit, hat and sunglasses. He looks thirty years older. We’ll have to convince your father you’ve run away, won’t we, Dr. Lewiston? 

My uncle emerges from the shadows, face streaked with sweat. The yellow-eyed babies are smiling at us. They are growing up outside the womb. Already I sense vengeance shadowing their little hearts, seething in their yellow liquefied eyes, invading like the rampant ivy draping the backdoor entrance of the clinic. 

I scream and the babies scream underwater in unison. 

You’ve run away, my uncle mumbles, and his eyes become that liquefied yellow just as Wilkes pulls the trigger. 

Singe House

Te \ The house boiled on a hill
loof / lonely clamshell roof
moint \ meeting point
paths / adjoining black paths
fire \ carved by historic fire
surcn ds / surrounding concentric ponds
li. epid \ listless and tepid
elight / emblazoned with sunlight
and ctteds. \ and crossed by bitter weeds.

uk vil / Lucky Hour at the Lucky Devil
weisors \ we picked up visitors
s th bar / smashed, along the bar.
oat ntion \ our ears pricking at mention
of the Singe- / of the Singe-
co gnnn. ht! \ come with us tonight!
yoaenture, right? / your girls cream for adventure, right?
don’t tell m’t want- \ don’t tell me you boys don’t want-
SIperience / the full-on, Blair Witch SINGE experience
thewith… \ they wanted to go with us…
inate / in their beer-soaked state
ck-seat \ crammed in the back-seat
wflasights / we handed out flashlights
imor, \ in the rearview mirror,
ouetimes met- / our eyes sometimes met-
d. \ trust exchanged.

We wante ash! / We want to see the ash!
thecreamed \ they clapped and screamed
ests / we played their song requests
tried their pills \ tried their pills
tely / they understood, gravely
ke. \ why we didn’t smoke.

Tinge / The Singe
r n \ ran up the side of a barn
likhimself! / like Christ’s shadow himself!
fil d \ filmy lights crossed and uncrossed
thetures, / they took pictures,
se \ often with lighters, held to the consecrated base
cr ds / crunching and stomping weeds
nger \ one boy even pressed a licked finger
t d. / to the blackened whispering wood.

Ifce \ If they slighted us, minimally or maximally,
we nce / we took offence.
our picked them \ our pickup followed
nd / a gaining distance behind
ifnce \ if they were parents, we gave them chance after chance
up to g / up to the maximum number of offspring-
these gach \ these games always ended in the ditch
wes / we believed their sobbing stories of loved ones
or wn’t \ or we didn’t
in se- / in every case-
we. \ we left it up to the Singe.

Singe / The real Singe
bver \ hulked in the next town over
whd / white elephant creepy pioneer homestead
c t r \ carrying the mark of terror
wh wn / which rained down on our Town
i976 \ in August 1976.
nthr. ns / now guarded by threatening signs
twelenes \ twelve-foot fences
appd / artfully flame-tipped.

Sak \ Some nights we drank
I e / in dark hovels along the fence
t or \ tossing cans over
s. t. er / like rats in a dumpster
wh. . – \ that was how we imagined ourselves-
laugmeet us, / laughing at humans who had the luck to meet us,
real y-our blood \ real hay-bred townies with the mythic smoke in our blood
until sir night air… / until spotlights and sirens fleeced the cold night air…
and we s. kittere. off. \ and we skittered off.

Cupcake Windchime

Her Cam Girl name was Cupcake Windchime, and boy, could she ever dangle. She was a dangler, because she had sex in the woods or else she could chill. She could hang, @petergriffin-studmode69 had put it. And she tells us where to put it, he nodded to his old poodle in the corner.

Her parents had looked at her screaming twisting body and named her Loretta. They thought she would take on the name like a dough, but Loretta never took. Loretta was in a fluorescent kitchen by six am, whipping a cupcake batter into shape. She did not feel like Loretta- she wanted to be the cupcake. At the first opportunity, she was cupcakelover12@hotmail.com. Then, icedcupcake86, semi-professionally. And now, she supposed, her reasons were spiritual.

She never signed off the chat before 4am. That’s when you got the real freaks. She woke up at 2pm every day, without setting any alarms. In her mornings, the soft tinkling of chimes seemed to follow her around the house. Looking down at her ankles, she’d see the circle of thread and the knot. The attached pieces doing the tinkling were just plain-old cutlery.

Cupcake shook her head, bubbling over in a big laugh. Same dick different day, she said to the coffeemaker, and it bleeped its red eye, snarling out a few more drops of decaf. She grabbed the mug, and with it in one hand, and her hairbrush in the other, Cupcake climbed the stairs to her office.

When she walked in the room, a man jumped up from the desk chair. He landed on his feet, cat-like, facing the window. Legs spread apart and tensed. His audible breaths came like popcorn popping and she couldn’t see his right arm. His black leather jacket was turned towards her. Cupcake screamed and flung the mug across the room. It missed the intruder completely, breaking into shards and splashing its contents on the wall and window. The man threw his head back and cried out. She felt his whole body clenching- the sensation rocketing through her seemed both erotic and holy- driving at last into the buried pink nerve heart of each one of her teeth. Cupcake screamed out once more, then fell silent.

The man began lowing like a cow in heat. His bald head ran into a pink folded nape, reddening steadily.

“Spread those butterfly lips for me, chica, how ’bout it?”

How did you get in here? Cupcake asked. She watched in terror as a thin ray of moisture crept up on the air, her tongue ran along her bottom lip without realizing it.

He had said it all without turning around.

“Chica, I bet you’d do it with dirt in your mouth. You wouldn’t refuse me. Even if I sat your ass in a puddle right before.” He laughed- a high aluminum whisking sound that reminded Cupcake of a deli slicer. Her mood darkened, and she pictured pushing a great tube of salami into the path of a blade.

The black leather jacket began to shake, reveling in the bloodpump pleasure of its own lewdness. The right arm was again wrenched out of sight. Before Cupcake could speak, he had zipped his fly and was making a break for it! His legs swung up over the windowsill and in a flurry of chimes he was gone.

It was a long time before Cupcake could move. When she finally did, she walked over to the desk and unplugged the computer. Unplugged the webcam. Maybe she should take the night off. Maybe it was time for a different career altogether. Loretta, her mother wrote on lunchboxes, Loretta, at the top of her papers. Cupcake looked over at the kit, lying open on the desk, and her arms and face began to itch, itch, itch.

She carried the desktop over to the window, and, ever so carefully, pushed it over the edge.

Cracked

‘bring a lamb to school

see who is the fool’

i laughed. on a dark day

i laughed so my skull

crackahd the plate 

so sweep them 

china dust pieces 

under the grandmother rug

lick it there

leave those rough shapes

in the bulldust.

how my sideways face looks

to the girl on the corner

walk antelope talk

stockings in stock

check-pick

ground in lock-step

what a bad bad girl.

yes

i laughed. and sold my only thing.

yesss

i spun into silence

my womb was the shape of me

see under

those yellow brick lights

under the grandmudder

in a peaked silence

one that abounds. downtown girl

you rise

with fresh madness each night

you sink 

you were unlike the birds

broken thing

i think you could fly.

Real Talk

These are real, real emotions, man, and we are on our way downtown. Downtown with our fingers on a lipstick cap inside our jean pocket to suggest a knife. Our hood, our hat is pulled low. We got this worm-lipped grimace on our face. We glide past the bus stop and see him with black, glittering eyes. Waiting at the stop, in khakis and a black raincoat and dark glasses, and he is just asking for it. Something like a fuse sparks in our head. He is pathetic. We are furious- not at him and we know it, but we can taste our own fury sitting like blood in our mouth. Our sweat is murmuring and our hand is a sweet fist- one to pump and kiss the sky. We wonder what it would be like to crush his skull under our blind boot, because our eyes have moved to swallow something small and pebbly from the part of our brain which recalls childhood. And the drama of the everyday never shakes down like this on the sidewalk- not without us slamming into it, not until we make it. And he never even saw us coming. No, he was thinking about divorce as a way out and how his whole life has been a lie and there was no way he could have seen us coming after that. No way, not from miles away.

Music Bit My Mouth Open

The whining cars up on the hill are missing home. They beg, where is our tomb? The answer shudders underground and in my hands are flowers. And beside me is all my family standing in a Domino row.

If I combine the only witness, slump his tongue right under mine…

Afraid to feel without a thudding chest to get the blood out. And. Tastes like clockwork, works like climate change. How? Press a thumb to my lips, taste the hard-won tip of a bee-stung corn. Size of grapefruit. Lanced on my abdomen.

Come up the riverbank, my seasick carp.

Time

My doctor thought of Time in terms of a green wound,
a sly, leech-lidded reservoir under the skin-

Time was his wireframe glasses and the clock I punched
when he told me the forecast of those old wounds
when my life gathered around me to hug itself through this…
and in my mind I went back as a ghost to
all my future high school reunions

and did not hear my name all night.

THE VIRILE HARVEST

In town the dust gathers. In skins of yellow dust the people pray.

The chapel wilts all week, dips in the middle. An old host. Chestnuts hit the roof during service and belief thuds into the hearts of men, frightens the women. They fear the Harvest. They know the roots are here to stay.

Paint peels off an old barn in the sun. A new cat every day.

The farmers reach into the ground, dung clung to the heels of their boots.

The sun tips water in their mouths, and something brazen and heavy clatters down the road. A patch of dust swabbed over the elbow, scabbed over the heathen ground.

The people wait for wheat to curl.

They dig up the virile harvest.

The night that

The night that I turned thirteen was the same night that the old man down the street died and took up skateboarding and was found almost three weeks later, down by the tracks with canary-yellow fingers and a drug habit that maybe he was just experimenting with them at my age.

The night that she locked her daughter out of the house happened to be the same night that the policeman found a loaded gun in the mailbox of the neighbour’s house, which was chaotic and boarded-up during the day and where a thin woman with blue hair lay on a mattress full of wet wounds with her ear to the floor.

The night that my father lit the corner of his apron on the gas stove, threw it on the burner on his way into the fridge for another beer, looking at me and my mother from across the city where he held the people while they shivered, having to face the snarling waste of their lives, and having to resign from the police force and shake hands with the insurance representative all in one day, and having to look himself in the eye and make a promise to still believe that it mattered if you killed a spider, that it mattered if instead you blew it lightly off your palm and out of the window into the night.

Objects In Mirror

The ambulance in the rear-view that makes you aware of
delicate bones & the crashing moments before flight.

You are too quick to find in there
the part where people grieve you-
you imagine coming to them
inside their heads
while they go to bed
thinking of you dead.

There is heat sliding over the air
there is always energy expelled
when something so large sinks-
when in the rear-view mirror

everything goes to hell.